@mitu ok good to know, i'll blow everything away and start from scratch. i must have glazed over the part about it not being supported on a DE. Also i was never planning on using vnc for it and figutred it would never work, was just using it for troubleshooting and setting up other things unrelated to retropie, im just to lazy to switch the input on my monitor :P
thanks for the info to you both, much appreciated.